:/

Having a serious case of baby envy tonight. My little one is going to be two at the end of this month already. She's grown tremendously over the past two years, and is halfway into potty training (of her own accord) and transferred lastnight to a toddler bed, and has been sooooo freaking good. However, the fact that my baby is a big girl, combined with so many friends with newborns is starting to set me back into my jealousy and baby depression a little. It's stupid, I know, and I'm so freaking grateful for my beautiful and amazing daughter, but I can't help but feel a little sad that we are having the same troubles as last time and having a hard time getting pregnant again. I want another so bad.

Tough Night...

So I'm having one of those tough nights tonight. I'm actually shocked that I've done as well as I have leading up until tonight. I know that last time when we were trying I was honestly depressed when I saw my pregnant friends, or their newborns, or anyone else that was pregnant or have had a baby for that matter. It killed me over and over again. This time around (maybe it's because I've got one already...I don't know) I've been finding myself much more just happy for my friends. In fact, I don't really think I've had anything even remotely close to the sadness and jealousy that I'd experienced in the past...that is, until tonight. So I guess I could say it's a good thing that it's only now, but regardless, I'm having a hard time with it. A big part of me is so happy for my friends, but that ugly jealousy is seeping in now too. I DID get a period this month (without meds) which is incredible. The unfortunate thing is that I've been taking ovulation tests waiting for it to happen, and so far, still nothing. So next month I'll be contacting my Dr. again to see if he's going to end up sending me to a specialist, or if we're going to just try another few rounds of progesterone, or what. :/